try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
