I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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