You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im holly from the hills drunk
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
