I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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