did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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