battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
