hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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