I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
