I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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