There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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