Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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