He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
