They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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