At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
