Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
