My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
