Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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