He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
