I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
