What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
