Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
