New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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