My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
