Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They took my balls.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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