Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You smell like stripper and shame
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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