dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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