just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
