YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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