Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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