I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
