??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
