I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
