Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
