But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
