so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
