The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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