My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They are going to name an STD after you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
