I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
