I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
