I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
