break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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