Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
