Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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