Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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