I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
