Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
