even my farts smell like vagina
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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