Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
