he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize