I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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