If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize