Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We are all done wearing pants today
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
