When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
