You made me cry and you don't even care
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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