i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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