I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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