I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
