remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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