don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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