i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize