yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize