her vagine was all disorganized.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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