Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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