I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
