thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
